Despair and Repentance

First of all, have a look at this photo of Roar's new super-youngster Ben Griffin scoring one of the coolest goals, not to mention the Roar's first for a while. The image is from the A-League site, who I sincerely thank in advance for not suing me for breach of copyright.

I'm looking at the crowd behind Griffin. It's kind of nice that it's an apparently Roar supporting section of the stadium, evidenced by three Roar shirts and a cap. But then I note that of the ten faces I can see, only three of them actually saw the goal. The girl in green in the middle was lucky to do so because she appears to be watching the game despite her boyfriend trying to distract her attention. This crowd does not expect a goal, but is there in some sort of dutiful loyalty.

The bloke toward the left in a Roar shirt sums up something in his demeanour for me. Blank, unexcited face, arms crossed - a generally grim resignation in his face and body language. He sums up how I felt at that very moment, and although I was in front of a TV, like him I was at least watching the moment. I try to imagine that same bloke a half a second later when he saw the ball hit the back of the net, then half a second after that when he realised that he really did see the ball go into the back of the net and there was a whistle blowing and that there might even be a god after all.

From zero to 120 in less than a second. Pure orgasm. That's why we do this.

I feel for the other seven faces in the picture who missed the moment. But they would have almost instantly been caught up in euphoria anyway. And that's why we have replays.

There is a reason I didn't blog about that game afterward and it's not a flattering one. It was guilt. For weeks I had stuck to my Queensland loyalty and hope despite the mounting evidence that Queensland was slipping. I hung in there, and I believed. My son - my own flesh and blood - had abandoned hope long before and I was determined to show him what loyalty meant, and what hope-against-all-odds, Queensland-style, meant. But after that abysmal effort at Suncorp in Round 16 I snapped. I committed the sin of despair.

To the boys in Haz-Chem orange I submit my sincere apologies, and the following commitment. Through thick and thin I will never stop believing in you again. Yes, Frank, that even goes for you. You're a Brisbane boy after all, and I ought to have a little faith.

For the time being, you're still in this game Queensland. Go the bloody Roar!